End of another chapter

On the same day, at this very time, one year ago, I am unpacking all of my things from my luggage into my locker, putting on my bedsheets, and unloading my things up on my desk then wandering around the college with my family before kissing them goodbye.

I still remembered on the first few days, I cried for who knows how long because I was homesick af (eventhough rumah dekat nak mampos) and stressed as hell because of orientation torture. I feel like I wanna run away from there. It felt like hell. I was exhausted and tired and sick but no one cared.

I had no friends. No one was an acquaintance to me except for Makhzunah so most of the time I always tag along with Makhzunah and her roommates. Me and my roommates didn't clicked so well as they all had so many friends here unlike me.

One week of hell ended and to say I was relieved was an understatement. Our tutorial classes and lectures started the day after and I was excited to say the least. It turned out okay, I get to know my classmates and after a few days, we have become close friends.

Days changed to weeks and to months, lots of things has changed. I become terribly close with my classmates and roommates, well mostly my classmates as we see each other's faces everyday from 8 til 5. I joined a lot of programs, and I was also in the masjid committee.

At times I got stressed out because I was literally surrounded by geniuses. I am always the one to get left out. The guys in my class are all the good guys and nerds it's embarrassing for me not to be one of them.

And between that period of time I developed feelings towards someone. It would be a lie if you guys hadn't. I mean, it's college kot! Mesti ada college crushes kan. Hahahaha. But mine was driving me nuts. I was mad and crazy over him and I hated that. I kept on saying to myself everyday, "You came here to study, falling for him ain't part of the plan." But yeah it never worked. It actually made the feelings more powerful.

Take this advice, when you like someone, don't deny, it'll become worse. Trust me. I've been there, done that.

So enough with that.

Sem 1 ended rather smoothly and I kind of missed all the memories of sem 1.

The second sem started well at first but along the way, it was literally hell. Assignments, lab reports, past years, and the fact that I can't adapt with the new subjects especially organic Chemistry makes me want to scream and pull my hair bald. But all in all, sem 2 was mostly fun. I got awfully close with everyone including the guys in my class and met lots of new people along the way.

But the end of this book didn't turned out that good.

We had our last paper of Physics both paper 1 and paper 2 which also marks the last day of us in college. And the eagerness and sadness over wanting to leave college so much made our studies for the last exam to be put aside, in other words, we didn't study much and we're gonna be doomed for the rest of our lives for our Physics. *sighs*

This part was the hardest. The Goodbye.

The day ended with tears all over the place and excessive hugs here and there. I was one of the last to go back so I stayed in my room after. And cried. SO. HARD.

Yes I was sad. So sad. But why? Because of the goodbye? No, but yeah but you know what makes me sadder? When you realize the fact that you'll never get to see half of these faces you see now ever again or ever in a few years time. That's what broke me.

Although it ended terribly sad and awful, but when we reminisce all the memories and hardship we've been through together, it made me realize that it's not the happy ending that's important, it's the story that matters.

Imagine all of these wouldn't happen if I didn't registered myself in college one year ago! How fast time flies. And I made the greatest decision in my life.

That one whole year was filled with so many things that had put a great impact in my life. That one whole year that made me who I am today. That one whole year full of surprises and memories.

It's crazy that in one whole year, all these things could happen.

So crazy.

Signing out,
-Naj (i got this name from college as well and i love it)