KMPk, thanks for the memories

Warning: This will be one hell of a long post I swear.

I have been thinking so much these past few weeks. About everything. But especially my life back at matriculation. Then it strucked me, it's almost one year that I've left KMPk. It was one year ago guys. One year ago, on this exact date, we were struggling for our last paper, and I remembered it was Physics. At that time I swear, I can't even think of the exam anymore. All I think was that, today would be the last day I'm gonna see the faces I've seen for the past 10 months. And the thought that hurt the most was that, will I ever see them again?

I know there's some people who have been saying things behind my back like, "Dia ni tak reti nak move on ke apa asyik-asyik matrik. Dah masuk uni pun nak matrik lagi." or "Pehal kau suka sangat throwback? Dah dah la tu." or maybe "Eleh dia bukan rindu sangat matrik tu. Rindu crush dia kat sana je." OK THIS ONE DESERVES A SLAP IN THE FACE. And I will gladly answer those questions for you.


1) "Dia ni tak reti nak move on ke apa asyik-asyik matrik. Dah masuk uni pun nak matrik lagi."

Yes, aku memang tak reti nak move on. No matter how much I want to forget about my days back in matrics and just go on with my life here in USM, the thought of missing KMPk always comes back. Always. Can't you see how big of an impact it has left in my life? Even school doesn't have that kind of impact. Speaking of, I also have some of my friends at school who said to me, "Matrik matrik matrik. Sekolah 5 tahun tak rindu ke?" I swear to god these kind of people get on my nerves. Kau tak experience what I've been through kau diam! People will never understand.

But, that got me into thinking, do I really love matrics that much because of the fact that it was my first time away from home? The first time I lived with other people which soon becomes family? I have never stayed in a hostel before. Maybe that's why. So I went asking several people which phase in life has impacted them the most. Mostly akan jawab pre-uni, matrics, asasi, etc. There! You see? It's not just me. I'm glad it's not just me.

2) "Pehal kau suka sangat throwback? Dah dah la tu."

At most times, I realized that I tend to stroll down memory lane when I'm stressed out. But if it were for KMPk, seems like I'm always stressed out. If you followed me on Instagram, I recently spammed my feed with lots of throwback pictures from my KMPk days. I know, you guys are annoyed. Even I am annoyed with myself. It's as if I macam syok sendiri. You get me? That got me into thinking, "Aku sorang je ke yang syok sendiri ni dok rindu rindu matrik, rindu kawan2 kat matrik. Entah-entah diorang tak pun hah." Idk I have lots of negative thoughts lately but then I shook them off, I can do whatever I want to do with my account. Hah. But really though, it seems like when I throwback a lot, it kinda gives me good vibes on my daily life. It got me a whole lot better, my stress level decreased.

3) "Eleh dia bukan rindu sangat matrik tu. Rindu crush dia kat sana je."

Okay first off, let me slap you in the face first. **SLAP**
Second off, yes, I do have a crush and I do miss him, in fact, I miss everyone and everything in KMPK. I miss my crazy roommates, I miss classmates especially, I miss my JMM friends, I miss my KMM friends, I miss the people I met there, I miss the lecturers, I miss Pakcik burger hongkong, I miss going to class early everyday dekat LH5, and LH6, I miss going to tutorials, I miss going to mentor mentee classes at night, those ridiculous P-PASS, M-PASS and C-PASS, I miss practising MUET with my classmates, I miss going to the masjid with Ekin every night, I miss burger hongkong, I miss Pakwan's breakfast, I miss Kafe Mama, I miss going to Madam Saliza's ceramah, I miss our outings, I miss cocurricular activities, I miss our fieldtrip to Kg Beng, I miss kolam biawak lol, I miss going to lepak at the UFO, I miss spending time dekat bistro makan ais kacang while waiting for koko, I miss lab experiments, I miss climbing up the stairs to my room in level 3, I miss lepak lepak dekat kerusi batu bawah blok, I miss our movie nights dekat bilik TV, I miss studying at the surau & bilik bacaan during study week, I miss blok Seri Intan, I miss beli makanan dekat Seri Krian, I miss the tangga maut, I miss going to the lecturer's cubicle, I miss Sir Naim and how we used to be afraid of him, I miss Miss Amal and the time when we think we were doomed because she won't talk to us, I miss Sir Lee with his appreciation and love towards us with the excessive sweet emojis on WhatsApp, I miss Sir Am bcs his class was always dabomb, I miss Sir Shakirin's jokes, I miss Sir Soma's class, I miss agama class too it was the best, I miss going to the library during breaks, I miss how active our WhatsApp group used to be, I miss karaoke and singing along with Bia & Syaa, I miss fangirling with Fairuz & Shera, I miss gossiping with Ekin & Bia, I miss going to Hani's room and chill, I miss Ecah and her hilarious jokes, I miss Nurul and her hyperactive-ness, I miss Hanis because she's always there for me (until now), I miss Farah and her sense of humour, I miss Kak Tika and how strong she is, she gave me hope, I miss Wani too though we don't spend much time together, I miss Dayat's adorable smile, I miss Faiz's & Zul's sense of humour, I miss Zal and how kind he is, I miss Ravi for being the best class rep ever, I miss Syamir and his sarcastic jokes, I miss Zakri too, eventhough he's only in KMPk for half the sem, I miss Shad for also being the best class rep ever and for being awesome, I miss Maroon 5 for causing a lot of chaos in our class, which is good (bcs takde lah krik krik kelas) and bad at the same time. I miss Hafiz bcs he's the least annoying out of all the guys in class B (lol sorry guys) and he got the potential to be a great physicist one day (TERER GILA PHYSICS I CRY), and Irfan too though he has got to be one of the most annoying person in the world, sorry we caused you a lot of trouble and talk about you behind your back. I''m feeling so guilty now. You actually have a lot of potential to be a better person, so be a better person, try to not get people to hate you, be good, be humble, don't boast about what you're good at. I know you'll be a great person. Last but not least, I miss KMPk. All of it.

And I miss a lot of things I'd probably couldn't think of more right now. But overall, I want to say that my time in KMPk is the phase when I experienced lots of new things that shaped my life, that shaped me into being who I am today. So I am forever grateful for that and I'm never ever ever going to regret my time in KMPk at all. KMPk, thanks for the memories.

Special but unappreciated

She was never special. She never felt she was. But she really is. Without her, the family would be a wreck. Babies crying, parents shouting and an elder sister, bugging and annoy her in any way possible. And unfortunately, the latter happens to be me.

Now I finally realize how it feels like to be her. Being her is a tough job which needs a tough heart as well. Being a babysitter may sound common and easy but it wasn’t. Don’t believe me, you can ask her. Who is “her”?

My sister, Nazmina.

Nazmina has been my best friend and my partner in crime for as long as I can remember. Sounds cliché, but she really was. She was the one that I can joke, play around, being all sarcastic without the receiver being offended by my words. She was amazing at everything I don’t but she never had self-confidence in her that make her feel she’s weak and vulnerable. Her self-esteem always drop when she fails to do something or maybe when she sees someone’s strength that she never had in her. She never wants to see her strengths.

Nazmina always has this fear of talking to strangers. Not the bad stranger though, also the good one. For instance, she was scared to order food from a fast food restaurant, she was afraid to start the conversation with people, and she was afraid to voice out her own opinion coz she thinks hers was useless and people wouldn’t want to accept it. I accept the fear of the latter statement, even I am like that. But my point is that, she feels weak. And whenever she feels weak, she’ll be afraid to shine out and show her abilities to people afraid, of what people would say. That will just lead to people making fun of her or to let people control her to do this and to do that. And I hate that.

In the family, she never felt she was special. She felt she was like just another typical and normal sibling in the family. I outshone her.  I was the star of the family. Good in academics, getting good grades and being popular at school and to other people, I was the family’s golden child. But she….she was just a babysitter in the family. Both my little brother and sister loved her, they got attached to her and at one point I was jealous of her. Why does they like her even more than they love me? What does she do that I didn’t? 

Easy.

 She did, literally everything to them. She was like a mother to them, more than my own mom. Even we have a maid, it seems like our maid was useless when it comes to babysitting.

She feeds them, bathe them, wear them clothes after bathing, play with them eventhough at most times, she was tired from a day at school. Although she has so many homeworks, she puts her priority on her brother and sister first.

I was proud of her and pity her at the same time. She was such a great babysitter and yet she never gets the credit. She even sacrifice most of her free time, weekends and her chance to hangout with her friends just to babysit them. And at most times, her hard work and existence were never appreciated. What could be sadder than that?

One day she went for a camping trip for 3 days which leaves me in charge of babysitting. To say I’m mad and exhausted was an understatement. It was beyond that. And her absence felt excruciatingly long. Now I know how it feels like to be her. This was just a part of it. Oh how I wish I could give everything in the world to show how special she is. Because she really is.

So Naz, this post is dedicated to you.

Know that you’re special and you’re nothing less than everyone. You have even more abilities and specialties apart from me.

I can’t roller skate, I can’t play the piano, I can’t sing, I can’t play any musical instrument, I can’t beat someone in a game, I can’t play netball, I can’t pass Flappy Bird more than just a score 2, I’m not good in sports like you do, I can’t babysit and finally I can’t do everything that you can do.

So thank you for everything and thank you for playing the biggest role in my life. Without you, I don’t know how I’m gonna survive.

Sincerely from your annoying and jerky little sister here in college who misses you and the family terribly,
-Najwa

Sahabat Benar (um i guess?)

Okay sebenarnya tak reti nak translate true friends in BM. Oh well

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"True friends are those who see your faults, give you advices and defend you in your absence." -Ali bin Abi Talib (AS)-

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*searches google*

How to avoid sleeping during lecture?

Applies results to self, DIDN'T WORK OUT.

Then decided to ask a friend.

She said, "Imagine what would your family say if they found out you were sleeping during lecture. Sedih, sakit tengok kau datang sini untuk tidur dalam lecture pastu tak siap kerja sebab tak faham. Mindset dalam fikiran kau, I came here to study, niat kena betul."

Gulp. Ooh I need to apply some ice to that burn.

"Mindset lagi aku belajar kerana Allah, bukan PSPM. Aku ngantok ni semua sebab setan. Bodoh setan bodoh."

That very night, I was thinking by myself when everyone's asleep . I guess she's right, niat aku tak betul. Aku dah mindset nak tidur every lecture. Then turns out like that lah. Ya Allah. Apa nak jadi dengan aku ni.

Tomorrow. Is a new day. And I vow to myself I'll try my best to not sleep in lecture.

From that day onwards, during every lecture, I think of my family.

'They're depending on you', I thought to myself.

I force myself to stay awake. Ni semua kerja syaitan. Kau kuat, kau boleh. Kuatkan iman, hati. Lillahitaa'la.

Turns out it actually works.

I realized, not all things Google can solve for you. Sometimes an advice from a friend can change or save your life. And those friends are what I call true friends. I'm very truly grateful to have friends like these beside me through thick and thing. Ni barulah namanya rakan yang memimpin tangan kita ke syurga. Ukhuwah itu sweet kan?

Not to ruin the moment but........I have to go.

-Najwa signing out gracefully and beautifully (over pulak)

P/s: I'm having trust issues with Google right now :/

Suckishly awesome

Assalamualaikum,

this post might make me sound like a bitch so bear with me.

Been a while eh? I was super duper busy with college and for the umpteenth time, COLLEGE PLAIN SUCKS.

Why you ask?

1. Hectic schedule
2. No time to revise because packed with assignments and tutorials
3. Not enough time to finish projects, assignments and tutorials
4. THEY TEACH LIKE A FERRARI (like, calm down man)
5. Syllabus and contents are harder (and it's only the first semester)
6. Pop quiz every two weeks (which affects our PB when we get low marks)
7. NO TIME TO RELAX (even on weekends)
8. no freedom
9. Food's expensive

But then again, there's the bright side.

1. Awesome roommates
2. INSANELY CRAZY AND AWESOMER CLASSMATES (F1T8 ftw!)
3. amazing activities
4. cool lecturers
5. Technologies are free to use
6. There's a tv room where we can watch movies
7. The place's huge and we can jalan-jalan everywhere
8. Lots of entertainment
9. Other things i cant think of right now

But these past few weeks had been great, and ramadhan here is not too bad at all. Tarawih meriah, iftar super meriah. There's a bazaar where they sell street foods and i think it's amazing. My daily meal for breakfasting is whether Nasi Ayam, Nasi Lemak or Bihun sup. The taste's not too bad but yeah, a bit pricey. Classes are a bit exhausting in ramadhan, stair and hill climbings are hell. I always overslept and miss sahur which makes me all the more exhausted. I already put on 4 alarms on my phone starting from 4, 4:30, 5 and 5:30 and it's annoying when at times I DIDN'T HEAR ANY OF THEM. I was planning to qiyam but shaytan always wins it's such a bummer.

Oh and we organized an iftar jamaie for all our classmates and I THINK THAT THE IFTAR WAS INCREDIBLY INDESCRIBABLY AMAZING. Never had so much fun for quite a while. It was precious, everything went well and i think it was perfecto. I'll attach a few pics for you guys ;)

And today marks the day of our last ramadhan here in KMPk. I stayed up last night along with Rabia, Ekin and Shera, finishing our assignments (i know, nak balik pun still ada assignment) and slept at about 3 and woke up at 4, continue to get it done but then my eyes went droopy so I slept again, and unexpectedly woke up at 6:30. Again, i didn't hear any of my alarms so my aim to qiyam once again lost to shaytans. Ugh.

 I was rushing as I still got class for today (even though i plan to ditch) but thank God class today was awesome. Sir Am just tells us his stories and such, it was great. Oh yeah I got my Computer Science quiz an A minus. It's not the best but yay at least better than the previous quiz. And there's only less than 10 people that came to class today coz they're getting ready to go back to their hometown. Now, I am alone in my room, with all my roommates gone back to their home, waiting patiently for my mom to come and pick me up so that we can go to BBW and HOME SWEET HOME BABY.

EXCITED AF. Hope our journey home went safe and sound insyaALLAH.

So I guess I'll be going for now. Til then, assalamualaikum.

-Najwa signing out.

Rocking out lab coats before Physics practical class.

Physics mentor-mentee programme (i'm a mentee btw coz i suck)

Iftar jamaie' with le girls

Iftar bersama KMM

THE BEST DAY EVER : IFTAR JAMAIE WITH LE CLASSMATES WOOHOO

I LOVE YOU GUYS FIT8 FTW!!!!!!!!!

Jannah will be our forever and final destination, insya-ALLAH amiin